Reflection on study abroad experience in Italy.
I was going to write this on the ten hour flight from Rome to Charlotte, but I sat by a very nice, very talkative older man who spent the entire ten hours telling me about architecture and the book he was reading about the history of architecture. I may have not gotten any homework done, but at least I now know everything there is to know about Frank Lloyd Wright!
Fortunately, Joe (the architecture fanatic) was consumed in his book for a long enough period of time for me to jot down a few notes about the similarities and differences between Italian and American culture, which I’m going to base this reflection piece off of. Let’s start with the differences, because there were a lot.
One of the major things that I noticed while abroad is that Italians tend to display a different type of altruism than Americans do. I wouldn’t necessarily say that Italians are more generous than Americans, but it is a different kind of generosity. Several of the Italians we met were generous to us only after deciding that they liked and respected us. It was like they used generosity as a way to say thank you. For example, when we would be out at a restaurant, if the waiter liked us, they would often bring us a free bottle of wine towards the end of the meal or give us part of the meal (usually the wine) free of charge when the bill came. I have occasionally been exempt from paying for a soda or something at American restaurants but I have definitely never gotten bottles of wine or anything similar to that for free! One night we went to get take-out pizza. We went into the restaurant and ordered, then came back about 30 minutes later to pick-up our food. When we returned, we found out not only did they only charge us 25 euro for four pizzas and bread, but they also included a basket of pastries free of charge! Small acts of kindness like that were always pleasant surprises, and definitely something I will miss here in the States!
I’m not saying that all the Italians I met were angels, and I’m also not saying that people in America aren’t nice. The difference is, in Italy you experience more generosity among “friends” (aka people that you like), whereas in America there is a higher level of generosity among strangers. For example, on our last full day in Rome, I saw an old couple that had been hit by a car while riding their moped. They were lying on the ground, both bleeding and obviously severely injured. I expected traffic to stop or at least slow down, but that wasn’t the case at all. Most cars and even the bus we were riding at the time sped right past the injured couple as if nothing had happened. I was shocked that more people weren’t stopping to help these people. In Texas, I have seen a few bad wrecks right after they occurred and have witnessed not only several people stopping to come to the aid of the victims, but also people stopping to help direct traffic before the police showed up. In fact, when I got in a small wreck a few years ago, three cars behind me stopped to make sure I was okay, even though I didn’t have a bruise on me! Another situation like that happened with an older woman on the Metro. I was standing on a crowded subway when I saw an elderly lady walk on. I expected at least someone to get up and offer the woman their seat, but that didn’t happen. The lady had to stand for almost two stops before taking the seat of someone who was getting off. I don’t think that is something you would see as often in America, especially in the South.
Although Italy as a whole is more of an individualistic culture, I have to say in the aspect of altruism, they seem to take a more collectivistic approach. This is likely because of the strong importance Italians place on family. It is the family and the people they care for that the Italian people want to offer their kindness and generosity to. If they don’t have a positive connection with someone, why should they bother to be overly helpful to them?
Another difference is that the concept of time is much looser in Italy. Restaurants open and close at the owners discretion, buses come and go whenever they get around to it, and trains are not the least bit apologetic when they get you to your destination three hours later than the scheduled arrival time. When my train was delayed from Milan because of the fire at Tibertina station, I was shocked that the Trenitalia wasn’t offering any sort of ticket discount or voucher for the travel problems. I kept thinking about how if the same thing happened in America, we would have definitely received at the least an apology for the problems!
Other differences: PDA is everywhere! Train stations, bus stops, right in front of me on a crowded Metro… You name it, I witnessed it. Gross. The drivers are ridiculous. Really fast and unapologetic. I would be way to scared to ever try to drive around in Rome. Rome is very Catholic and absolutely nothing is open on Sundays. Italians are much more expressive of their feelings. When I was walking through Campo de Fiori one afternoon, I almost ran into a woman. Not even thinking of it, I said excuse me and went on my way. However, she turned around and started yelling at me in Italian as if I had just murdered her first born child or something. Italians definitely don’t hold anything back!
As far as similarities go, they were pretty basic. I was told that the fashion would be so much better in Italy, but except for in Milan, I didn’t see a huge difference in the way Italians dress compared to the way Americans dress. In the Repubblica area we saw men and women dressed in nice business suits on their way to and from work and in our neighborhood we saw them in casual jeans and t-shirts. It was really no different from what you would see in downtown Dallas versus Main Street in my small hometown of Azle. Another similarity is that both Italy and the US put heavy emphasis on the importance of material items. Appearance is important, and therefore both cultures strive to work hard in order to afford nice things, whether that be clothes, cars, or lavish vacations. Both Italians and Americans seem to appreciate the “finer things in life.” We love good food, good wine, and good company and we don’t feel guilty taking advantage of these things when we feel like we deserve them.
My trip to Italy was an amazing experience that I would not take back for anything. I have learned a great amount and have met exceptional people. However, I am so happy to be back in the US right now. There is just something about being home. Whether your home is Italy, Texas, or somewhere else far, far away… Home is always the best place to be.
